September 2020 — pg. 33
What harm can possibly come
from a disgruntled sidebar
conversation in the church?
After all, it’s just a couple of us needing to vent our
frustrations over a few issues in the church. We
understand one another and agree with one another.
It’s astounding how blinded we can become to the
tsunami that is created by the smallest seeds of divisiveness.
Perhaps that is why the Apostle Paul told Titus to “Warn a
divisive person once, and then warn them a second time.
After that, have nothing to do with them. You may be
sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned”
(Titus 3:10–11).
What’s at stake resulting from unholy secrecy in the
church? A lot! The name of Christ is subject to disdain, the
standing of the church in the community tarnishes, and
the witness of the local congregation breaks trust with the
community in which it hopes to minister. Church fighting
and splits are not harmless.
Here are four dangerous, long-lasting, destructive things
that happen to both individuals, and the local churches
to which they belong, when we engage unholy, divisive
discourse.
We open the door to “crouching sin.”
God told Cain, as his heart seethed against Abel over
their offerings, “If you do what is right, will you not be
accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching
at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over
it” (Genesis 4:7).
Sin likes to crouch at your door, and it wants to have
you. Engage self-awareness before you indulge unholy
talk. Take your complaints before the Lord and ask Him in
prayer, “Lord, is this worthy of conversation with others, or
is sin crouching at my door?”
We form divisive alliances.
Absalom, the son of King David, engages a conspiracy
against his own father. In 2 Samuel 14 and 15, the Scriptures
record quite a story involving Absalom’s abolishment from
Jerusalem, only to return and eventually be reunited with
his father. How does Absalom repay his father’s kiss?
Through a plot to destroy him. Every day Absalom would
park himself at the city gate and intercept people who were
going to seek justice from the king. Here’s how it ended:
“Absalom behaved in this way toward all the Israelites who
came to the king asking for justice, and so he stole the
hearts of the people of Israel” (2 Samuel 15:6).
When we engage in unholy discourse, we divide loyalty,
and form “camps” — divisive alliances. Before we do such
things, we should pray, “Lord, am I unifying people around
loyalty to you, or to me?”
We disobey Scripture.
Jesus commands us in this way: “If your brother or sister
sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of
you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if
they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that
‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two
or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the
church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat
them as you would a pagan or a tax collector” (Matthew
18:15–17).
Far too often, I have asked people who came and
presented their complaint to me about another, “Have you
gone to that person and asked them about this?” The usual
response is “No, they’re unapproachable,” or “I couldn’t.
They wouldn’t understand.” Or “I just wanted your
opinion.” Jesus does not offer any of these three statements
as “outs” from obedience to His command. Before you talk
about someone to a third party, pray, “Lord, I’m hesitant to
talk to this person, but I want to obey You. Help me.”
We will inevitably infect others.
We are created for community. What you do has far-reaching
implications that affect every community in
which you have influence. When we participate in unholy
secrecy or divisive discourse, we align ourselves with the
works and ways of the devil rather than the works and
ways of God. What’s at stake? A lot! Who might become
disillusioned by your doublemindedness? Who might join
you and fall into the same pit you’re destined for? Who
disengages quietly and leaves because they want to avoid
the coming conflict? If you are unsure if your actions are
infectious in the negative or not, pray, “Lord, am I infecting
others through agreement with your enemy, or am I acting
in agreement with You, helping to form bonds of unity?”
“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live
together in unity! It is like precious oil poured on the head,
running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s
beard, down on the collar of his robe. It is as if the dew of
Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the Lord
bestows his blessing, even life forevermore” (Psalms 133:1–
3).
And that’s God’s viewpoint of the blessing that comes
from living Above Board.+