May 2020 — pg. 15
More than 17 years, that is the amount of time I have been free —
free from a sin and a bondage that the church feels odd talking
about. While we focus on the “big sins,” we often avoid the sins and
struggles that plague the church. Maybe it’s because it hits too close
to home, maybe it’s because we don’t want to upset our attendance,
maybe it’s because we are not sure how to guide someone through
the addiction. We must put a name on it, we must pull it from the
darkness and into the light. It’s the addiction to pornography.
Research by the Barna Group and Covenant Eyes shows that 68%
of churchgoing men view pornography on a regular basis and 87%
of Christian women admit to having watched porn. More startling,
is the fact that 50% of pastors struggle in secret with this bondage of
addiction. (Visit fmchr.ch/conquer to read more statistics about how
pornography affects society and the church.)
I have found that, in my own life, being transparent is the only
way to truly find the power to break free. As long as the sin lives in
the dark, it continues to grow and gain strength. It’s when we bring it
into the light and confess our shortcomings, sins and struggles that
the power of Christ is truly set loose in our lives. Scripture tells us in
1 Peter 2:9, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy
nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of
him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” God
has called us out of the darkness of sin and into the light of His
glorious love, forgiveness, grace and mercy.
What if the church took seriously the call in James 5:16 to “confess
your sins to each other”? What if there was a vulnerability that each
believer accepted? What if we prayed for, encouraged and loved each
other even through failure?
A Place of Masks
I have attended church in many different denominations
throughout my life. I was baptized as a baby in a Nazarene church
and spent my younger childhood in a Church of Christ. As a
teenager, I bounced between Assembly of God and Church of God.
As a college student, I attended a Catholic church. Finally, as adults,
my wife and I were led to the Free Methodist Church. Through much
of my experience with the church, I found one thing in common:
The church has been a place of masks with people pausing before
coming into church to adjust their external looks while masking their
internal struggles.
We’ve all been asked by a greeter, “How are you?” Our responses
are preprogrammed: “Doing fine, thanks” or “Great, how are you?”
or something of the sort, but often our response isn’t true. Maybe
we wear our masks because we think no one would care to know
the truth, or the truth would be too embarrassing, or we’ve become
comfortable in the dark and we fear what the light might bring.
Brutal Honesty
For five and a half years, my wife and I served as youth directors
at the Robinson Free Methodist Church. During our time there,
we experienced a brutal honesty taking shape in the youth group
— not one of prideful sin, or flaunting our shortcomings, but a
brutal honesty that accepts the truth of where we are and what we
are struggling with. The youth would gather around one another at
the altar, laying on hands, and praying for true freedom. There was
no judgment, no gossip, no ridicule. No one looked down on the
other, belittled one another, or held grudges. Isn’t this the church that
Christ desires?
If the church really wants to see people set free, then we must make
our places of worship places of genuine transparency, wrapped in
unconditional love, with Spirit-filled grace and mercy. We’ve heard
it said, “Love the sinner and hate the sin.” I’m not sure this statement
is what Christ had in mind for His church. I believe we should love
the sinner, teach the sinner, be patient and forgiving with the sinner.
Instead of us hating people’s sin, we should teach them to hate their
sin, and we should learn to detest our own.
How to Stay Free
Once we are free from our addiction, how do we stay free? I have
found in my life that living by a system of “guardrails” has brought
the most success. You see guardrails exist to keep someone from
traveling off course in dangerous and sometimes deadly areas. The
guardrails assist us in reaching our destination. Once I was free from
the addiction of pornography, I did not want to go back, so I set up
extreme guardrails. My wife and I canceled all access to the internet
(I know, now you must really think I’ve lost it). I became accountable
to my spouse for every minute of every day, and we parental-locked
our TV. These guardrails are why we are still happily married for
more than 18 years. To this day, we still do not have internet. We do
not have Facebook. We do not have Twitter. We still have our TV
service parental-locked, and we are still using flip phones.
Now I’m not saying that everyone has to do what I did, but I
challenge you not to give the devil a foothold in any area of your
life, no matter what it takes. Freedom is worth any sacrifices we must
make.
What do we do as the church? As the church, we need to begin
to focus on being the light in the darkness instead of being appalled
by the darkness. We must focus on showing the true love of Jesus
Christ and steer clear of being the judge and jury of sin. Those who
battle addiction don’t need another person or group looking down
on them. They need someone to love them, teach them, and be real
with them. The truth is that transparency brings transformation, and
Jesus is in the transformation business. Let’s become transparent.+
Eric Harmon is the senior pastor at New Hope
Worship Center, a Free Methodist church in
Charleston, Illinois. He and his wife, Jami,
planted New Hope Worship Center in the spring
of 2016. Prior to Eric being a senior pastor, Eric
and Jami were youth directors at the Robinson
Free Methodist Church in Robinson, Illinois.
/conquer
/conquer